Family

Jan: " I'm so bored! Can we play a game?"
Me: " No."
Jan: " Pleaseeeeeeee, da jie. Pleaseeeeeeeee..."( pulls really hard on my sleeves)
Me: " Fine. Let's play the quiet gam-"
Jan: " No~ We always play that game."( tugs on my sleeves harder)
Jo: " How about the silent game?"
(Janice stomps foot and glares at us.)
Me: " I have an idea. How about the 'let's pay attention to the road game'. "
Jan: " I don't want ! I'm not even driving! Daddy is. I want to play 'Simon says'."
Me: " Okay then. Simon says be quiet."
Jan: " Not fair~ I want er jie to be Simon."
Jo: " I know! Let's play I spy. I spy with my little eyes...something green."
Jan: " So easy la! The trees."
Jo: " No."
Jan: " The grass?"
Jo: " No."
Jan: " The plants with flowers?"
Jo: " No."
Jan: " Your face? (Jo shakes head) Your eyes? ( shakes head again) Your hai-"
Me : "Your booger-Ow! Why did you pinch me?"
Jo: " No!"( gives me the evil eye) "It's the gates! See?"
Jan: " Ohhhh. Ceh."
( We reach the restaurant. Sits down and waiter comes to take order)
Jo: " Here's another one. I spy something that looks like a pyramid."
Jan: " Nasi lemak!"
Jo: "Nope."
Jan: " The lantern?"
Jo: "No."
Jan: " Um-"
Me: " Ugh!" ( throws up hands) "This game is so boring! Can't we just be quiet and ignore each other like a normal family?"
Jan: "Da jie!"
( waiter appears with a plate of Nasi Lemak. Places it in front of Janice )
Dad: " Eh, eh, kita tak ada order ini."
Waiter(shrugs and points to Janice): " Dia yang order tadi."
Dad: " Tak Ada la. Mana Ada. ( turns to Janice)Janice, you got order or not?"
Jan: " Where got? I didn't! "
Dad: " Dia cakap tak ada. Boleh ambil balik tak?"
( waiter grumbles and takes plate away)
Me: " She did say you know. In the game."
Family : "..."
Me: " What? It's true!"
Family: "..."
Me: "...."
Jo : "...Let's just quickly eat and get out of here before they find out."

Girl behind the cherry flower tree

There she hides,
Behind the cherry flower tree.
Her eyes bright and full of innocence,
Her smile shy and speak of hesitance.
You'll never know that,
She writes out your name in the sand,
Over and over again,
Only to be blown away,
Scattered and lost, like dead leaves in the winter.

(She still writes anyway.)

There she hides,
behind the cherry flower tree.
You caught her by the hair, pigtail and all,
Together, you tumbled, crashed, rolled and fall.
You'll never know that,
The moment you leaned in,
She was holding her breath,
Counting to ten,
Wishing you would just kiss her already.

(And you did.)

There she hides,
Behind the cherry flower tree.
The day you left without saying goodbye,
Was the day she woke up from the tangle of lies.
You'll never know that,
She took all your pictures,
gave them one last look,
all your perfection,
all your imperfection,
Until the lines blurred and shapes were just shapes.

(She lit the match.)

There she hides,
behind the cherry flower tree,
Like the good friend she was, she kept her promise and showed up at your wedding,
Like the good old times, you laughed and you talked and she even gave you her blessing.
You'll never know that,
She sneaked out the back door with a bottle in hand,
She had a sip,
and then another,
and then another,
Before she knows it morning has came and she was all alone in her apartment that suddenly felt too big for her.

( Life sucks.)

There she hides,
behind the cherry flower tree.
You'll never know that,
The girl who loved you so, was me.

Reality

She kept scrubbing and scrubbing although her skin was already painful and raw. But his scent lingers still, like a ghost that refuses to fade away. The blood stains were the most difficult to remove, clinging onto her hair and the underneath of her nails, which have dried and harden to ugly,brown crusts. She watched the dirty water circle down the drain and tried very, very hard not to throw up again.

She wanted to sit on the bathroom floor and never move for the rest of eternity.

She wanted to run and run and run until she forgets the reason why she needed to run in the first place.

She wanted this guilt to go away and be able to tell herself that it's not her fault, that she have tried everything in her power, that no one could have survived from a stab like that.

She wanted to hold onto that guilt and never let go because it's the only proof that the whole thing was real, that he was real and not a figment of her imagination like her parents claimed it was.

The hesitant knocking on the door snapped her back to the present.

" Your highness, I brought you lunch."

The maid placed the dish in front of her gingerly as if she was threading dangerous waters. She noticed that the maid's hands trembled a little. Why is everyone so afraid of her?

" I shall leave you to enjoy your meal, my lady." The maid curtsied and prepared to leave.

"Wait!" She needed to know. She needed to know that she was right. " Have you ever heard of a man named Eugene Fitzherbert?"

The maid appeared confused. " Who again, Your Highness?"

" Oh. Silly me." She laughed in a high pitch voice. The maid flinched. " I forgot that no one knew his real name. Flynn Rider? Have you heard of him?"

" The fictional character in those children stories?"

" No! Well, sort of. He did named himself after that character. But no, I'm talking about the Flynn Rider. The real one."

The maid looked uneasy. " I don't think I know who you are talking about, my lady."

" How could you not know? The most cunning thief in the kingdom? The man who stole my crown? The guy with the weird nose on those wanted posters!?"

" My lady, perhaps I should call the court physician for you. Maybe you need to increase your medication..."

" Stop lying to me! "She screamed and shook the maid by the shoulders.

 " They put you up to this, didn't they? My parents? Didn't they?"

" Please...prin..cess."The maid struggled against her hold.

" Tell me! Tell me he's real!

" I...I don't know!"

" Tell me!"

" I...really don't know anything! I'm just following orders!"

At those words, she released her grip and sank to the floor.

" Princess?"

" Go away! Just.. Leave me alone!"

The maid quickly fled the scene and almost ran into a figure in the hallway.

" Your Majesty! I'm sorry, I didn't see you..."

" No worries, young one. How is she doing?"

"The princess? Not so good, I'm afraid. She still rambles about that Flynn Rider guy every now and then."

"Did she bring up the witch? The talking chameleon?"

" Not today,sir."

" Good, good. The new medication is working then."

" I hope so, sir. I hate to see her like this. She barely left her room after that dreadful fever."

 "She will be fine. I know she will."

" Sir? "

The king was no longer looking at the maid. His gaze was focused hard on the door of his daughter's
room. A room he have not set foot in since she slammed the door in his face and said she hated him.

" She has to."

Painting

" So? What do you think? And be honest, because I'm a manly man and I can handle criticism."

" Well, uh, the sky is really pretty." 

" And?"

" The grass is very...nice. So many colors."

" Aw, come on Blondie! You can do better than that! Look, I even drew your frog over here."

" That's Pascal? Why does he have horns?"

" Those aren't horns! Those are his ears!"

" Um, Eugene, Pascal doesn't have ears."

" Of course he does! Don't you, Pascal?"

"..." Pascal just sticks out his tongue.

" Great. Even the frog hates my drawing."

" It's not that bad. I love how you drew Max."

"...Blondie, that's your father."

"Oh. Um. Did I mention that the sky is really pretty?"

I knew you were trouble

He pushed her against the wall. Hard.
He didn't pause to check if she was okay, his hands continued to wander on her skin, hot and desperate. She was a bit annoyed at first but he gave her that smile then, the one that made her heart melt and her legs go weak. She forgave him because that's all she ever does.
"So, we're an item now right? Like together, together?"
As soon as the question escaped her mouth, he froze. A few seconds later, he recovered and shrugged like it's no big deal." Sure." 
She could tell that he was lying, from the way he refused to look at her in the eyes and his pathetic attempts to distract her with his kisses.She knew that the right thing to do was to push him away, say no before it's too late for regrets.
But she didn't.
And that made her hate herself a little.

Red

" Red!"
She cringed and pulled the hoodie closer to hide her face. She hissed at him," Stop calling me that! Can't you use my real name like everybody else?"
"Awww! But it suits you! With the hood and all."
She crinkled her nose in confusion. He sighed, " You know, like the little red riding hood?"
" What does that makes you then? The big bad wolf?"
He tried to make his voice drop to a seductive whisper but failed," Only if you want me to be."
"Shup up, you moron." The sentence was emphasied with a punch to him in the arm. To his credit, he didn't even flinch. Well, not as much as he used to anyway.
" Come on, Red. We both know that you are going to fall for my charms sooner or later."
"Ha."
" I take that as a yes then."
She replied him by whacking him in the head and her famous eye roll.
" Idiot."
Beneath her hood where she thought he couldn't see, she smiled.

State of grace

" What is red anyway?"
" Hmm? "
" You know, red? You always call me that and I don't even know..." She paused for a moment to gather herself. " So what is it like actually?"
" Oh."  He scratched the back of his head. How do you go about explaining something as abstract as colors to a girl who can't even see?
" Well,when I think of red, I feel...warm and um...alive and ..."
He groaned silently in frustration. This is impossible.
Without warning, she took his hands in hers and rubbed her thumb soothingly across the back of his hand. " Like this?"
It does feel warm in the comfort of her palms and her touch seemed to set his skin tingling in anticipation. " Uh huh."
" How about this?" Her face inching closer to his, her lips barely grazing the tip of his nose.
His heart was pounding so hard in his chest that it hurts. His ears started to feel hot from all the blood rushing there. Curse his teenage hormones. He quickly pulled back before he did something really stupid. Like kissing her senseless. Or blurting out his true feelings for her. Or both.
His next words came out in a rush,"Sothatwasfunbutigottagonowsobye!" Before she could comment on his weirdness, he already picked up his bagpack and made a run for it.
She was stunned for a few seconds but then started to burst out laughing.
It's official. Red is now her favourite colour.

begin again

She looks really pretty with the snow in her hair.
He didn't realise he had spoken out loud until he saw the weird looks she was giving him.
" No, I didn't mean to say that!" Her eyebrow shot up.
"Uh, not that what I said wasn't true... I mean, I sort of meant it... What I'm trying to say is... "
She cuts him off with a laugh. " Hey stop hurting yourself, big boy. I get it. Thanks."
He grinned back like an idiot.
She dropped her gaze and felt a little guilty for leading him on like this. She makes a silent promise to herself that she will set him straight when the time is right. Just...not now.
" So..." He rubbed his neck to hide away his awkwardness. Since when he was so nervous around girls?
 " Did you have a good time? Because I really enjoyed today and I was thinking... Maybe you know... We could.. If you want to..."
His face burnt into a painful red when she leaned in suddenly and kissed his cheek.
" Wha.."
" Same time next week? I'll meet you at the cafe." She said after pulling away. He could only nod stupidly in response.
Man, he got it bad.

conversation

This is a real conversation between my sister and I
" I bet you never hug your friends before."
" I did! Just today, I hugged a girl!"
" pfft... Yeah, right."
" It was a real hug ok?! There was upper body contact...and...uh...hands."
" It probably was stiff and humorless. "
" How can a hug have humor? What? Do you like, laugh when you hug or something?"
" Well, what I mean is I'm happy when I hug my friend."
" Well, duh! It's not like I'm upset when I hug MY friend!"
" Sheesh , I just accidentally used the wrong word . Because stiff usually comes with humorless. But you really are stiff when you hug people!You are stiff even when you are hugging me!"
"Maybe that's because I don't really WANT to hug you."
" Hey!"
" I just don't really like hugging ok? It's like allowing people to invade into my personal space."
" You are just weird la, when you hug is like not really hugging, more like just.."
" Upper body contact? "
" Yup."

dearly departed

dearly departed,
here we are again,
back to the place it all began,
back to the earth where we belong,
where the soil is damp and the grass grew long.
An old priest whose name no one remembered,
mumbled and uttered some few words of prayer,
to the body that is buried six feet under,
" May he rest in peace and go with You, Father."
People gathered around to see his face,
"oh how young, isn't that a waste?"
followed by fallen tears and broken cries,
hugs and kisses and even more goodbyes.
They mused on about what might have been,
"He had his whole life ahead of him."
then go home and thank their lucky stars,
for it had not been them in that wrecked car.
From that day on, they make promises to be good and careful,
to never bring upon their loved ones something so hurtful.
But humans are forgetful creatures after all,
it won't be long for their guards to slip and fall.
That's when death wins the game,
laughing while he stakes his claim,
which brings us back to...dearly departed.

Dinner table

There we sat,
 At the dinner table,
 With our distant family and long lost friends,
 All of us waiting for the pretense to end.
 Everyone just seated and the food has came,
 People patted one another and called out names.
Someone asked," how do you do? "
 And you answered " fine, thank you."
That's far from the truth, But what did they know?
It's not like they care, So why let it show?
 
 There we sat,
At the dinner table,
 With our napkins on our laps,
 And our fingers on our phone,
 It looked like we're together,
When in fact we're all alone.
With mouths opened wide,
 And ears shut tight,
Our eyes moved from side to side,
Our feet tapped away the night.
The food was plenty, the glass never empty,
 The night was jolly, the people were merry,
So why did you feel so tired and weary?

 There we sat,
 At the dinner table.
 The bill arrived and the host paid,
 " well, it's getting late, " someone said.
 " it's nice having you here" he turned to you.
You smiled and nodded like you were supposed to.
 " we have to do this again some other day"
Then you shook hands and go your separate ways.
You wanted to laugh
 It sounded dry
It was so sad
More like a cry
 There's nothing left but to go home now
 "this dinner will be my last," you silently vowed.
 A promise that can never be kept,
 Not by you anyway.